Before I write another blog...

I need to know if anyone even reads this? If not I will not continue writing. Thank you

Pizza is the Shizznit...first half up to sauce sorry

Pizza has so much potential. It has a mind of its own and always produces an amazing flavor adventure for your mouth! That is of course if you make your own or order it from a reputable pizza shoppe. Pizza Hut, Papa John and Gino, Domino's, suck it because your pizza is a shame. Oh and if you like any of those no disrespect intended, thats your choice. So anyways! This magical unicorn food of the flavor forest! It all begins with the perfect crust, and I am aware of the various types of crust and different preferences that people have but I'll just give you one and if you want a thin crust guess what...roll it thinner it's a miracle! If you roll something that was fat into a thinner version it's like a whole new experience! Wow. So yes the crust, I happen to prefer my crust to actually have a bit of flavor so here is a decent formula for such a creation:

Pizza D'OH haha thats funny because of the Simpsons....yea
1 Package of dry-active yeast
3/4 c 110 degree water not hotter no cooler in order for it not to kill the yeast
2 c all purpose flour
1t salt
1t sugar
-Sprinkle yeast into warm water to dissolve then add the salt or sugar(NOT BOTH) to feed the yeast, let rise for 5-8min
-Add the rest of the ingredients and mix with a hook attachment or your hands and knead for 2-3 minutes until dough is smooth and not sticky
-Spray a bowl with non stick spray and transfer dough, rise 15-20 minutes
-Roll out to desired thickness, add topping and sheet
-Bake at 425 degrees for 10-15 minutes.

And thats a pretty alright dough for a beginner....so what do you want on your pizza?
I think many people get confused when it comes to dressing your pizza, it already has a sweet pair of linen trousers on what the heck kind of shirt should it wear? A Hawaiian one? A silk button up? A smoking jacket?!? Oh my heck i have no clue! Well lets think about cologne first, aka sauce. ......ok people i will continue this tomorrow.

Very brief but a sort of interlude into what I will blog about tomorrow

Pizza and all of its wonder. It has more potential than you ever will, not to be harsh but it is true. thats all folks! Just wait till tomorrow, it's going to be riveting! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll fall in love and then you will get off you tush and go make a mother effing pizza that would make an Italian cry.
I hope you have had an amazing day of eating deliciousness and I will see you bright and early. Au revior, ma chérie yes I am French.

So my job rocks and the perfect "I don't know how to cook but want to impress you" meal

I had a revelation today! Alert the media! My job is better than 90% of you...assuming there are three of you, that would make me happy. ANYIMSOEFFINGHUNGRYANDRUNNINGONFUMESWAY, I was at the workski today having a chit chat with the Sous Chef about working and crap, talking about working rather than doing so! yay for productivity! I said that if I could stand the hours I'd be an all around chef rather than just a pastry biotch because I truly love cooking but also enjoy my afternoons. He mentioned his envy of my schedule, little does he know I make my own, because I get to be out of work by 1 or 2 having completed a nine of ten hour shift with an entire afternoon for enjoyment!
My schedule does have it's down side, like for instance when all my bitches and hoes are out on the prowl and I pull the, "Aw hey guys I know it's only nine but I have to go to bed, I've got work at four am". Yea wicked lame but hey I choose to do so! But! The reason my job is better is this, while some people are at work pounding their hands, fists, heads, whatever on their desks I am in the bakery creating mouth orgasms! Tell me what is better than working with your hands all day surrounded by the wonderful smells and tastes of a kitchen while getting instant gratification from making something with your hands that makes people smile?! Seriously it is an amazing feeling when you have the ambition to actually wake up at 3:30am and go to work and not be miserable about how tired you may be! Now if only there was a way to make this happen for everyone......bummer, unless everyone gets a job as a baker. Nah I'm not in a sharing mood sorry kids.
I struggled today with my rawtastic eating....I had a small crumb of chocolate cake! I know the end of the world right? I am so hard on myself it's sickening. I have been doing so well and last night was no exception. This is the perfect way to impress a hoe if you're stuck making them dinner. BARELY ANY COOKING!!! Also this can manipulated to include anything you want!
Start by getting any of these things:
Feta cheese
Hummus
Marinated olives
tomato
english cucumber
yelllow, orange, or red pepper
naan bread or pita
sirlion, chicken, or any meat just make sure it's marinated or do so when you get home
And add anything else you want!
Grill then cut your meats, cut up your veggies, platter everything up with some wine and instantly you have a gourmet tapas platter that is healthy and delicious!
If I was going to some dudes house for the first time and thats what he had for dinner I would be sold! Seriously guys try it next time you have a lady friend coming over, and if she doesn't like it punch her in the mouth she's not good enough for you.
Well that'll be it for me for now, I've been busy sorry for the lame blogs! I love you all, be jealous of that amazing picture, eat something delicious and tell me about it!

Zumbatastic

I finally tried Zumba! Yea it was a lot of fun fo sho. But I must say I had my doubts for a while and it was a pretty valid reason why. I saw a ton of women raving about this magically dance of the gods and how much of a great work out it was, but I never saw a change in their eating habit or clothing size so I only saw it as a lazy man's workout. Come to find out these women were only going once every other week, the eat habits thing was just annoying, if you don't eat better your work out is counterproductive. That was a while ago though and since then I hadn't heard anything else about zumba so I forgot about it.
Until two week ago when I was at an Athenas party and the goddess and one of the attendees was raving about it! So I tried it last night, and I gots to tell you it was so fun. Yes it was a workout and a damn good one too! I go to the gym every damn day and I love it but I think I have hit a plateau, I even managed to gain weight!? What the french? I started a new routine last week and have been seeing small results but now I think I have finally figured it out. If I can incorporate my raw diet, 5 miles of running 6 times a week, my new fitness routine and zumba three times a week I'll be golden!
I know that might sound like a lot to some people but I have been working my ass off for a year and a half to get to this level of fitness. If you've known me for a long time you'll know I was never one to work out, I couldn't run, I didn't strength train, all I did was hike a couple days a week. I am so friggen stoked that I am at this level now! I never saw it happening, not in a million years had I pictured myself being this active!
So yes, the class its self is like this...wait I should ask a few questions first, do you like dancing? do you like yelling and getting pumped? do you like swinging your hips and feeling sexy? ok if you answered yes I think you'll be into it. The warm up all on it's own was a phenomenal workout, a lot of twisting and shaking. You immediately begin to sweat, it's awesome. Each song has a workout to go with the rhythm and beat, it's aerobic and cardio and so fun! It's an hour long class but it goes so fast. You sweat like a machine but your entire body feels the workout and it's adrenaline, I wanted to keep shakin' my groove thang.
I highly suggest you try it if the gym is lame to you, if you need a quick hour of fun out of the house, and if you like to have fun:)
Don't worry bitches there'll be a foodie blog later in the day, I have only eaten a banana so you don't want a whole blog about that! Peace out girl scout

I want to make some cookies

I think cookies are great, yup that is what I think. I seem to be in a baking mood isn't that weird? I know it never happens either totally bizarre. I really want to make some crazy ass cookies though with like a thousand random ass ingredients that wouldn't usually go together, but when in this jesus cookie(that's what I shall call it) the magic of baking will bring forth the ingredients to create a gift from the heavens that will cure.....hungeritis. What shall these cookies contain, don't say nuts or I'll stab you in the jaw, if you read these blogs you'll know how I feel about this. So we know that nuts are out of the question, how about this....dark chocolate chunks, roasted cocoa nibs, bits of sea salt caramel, and chunks of pretzels! They will need to be a chewier cookie because crunchy cookies suck, no that is a lie I actually love them but not for this idea. Hmmmm....what do you think? Is that to much for your taste buds? What about this, a shortbread made with all brown sugar no white sugar, this shortbread would be covered in chocolate chips when it comes out of the oven then when melty and sexual spread it around with an offset spatula and let cool and yum time....maybe that is to simple. How about something sans chocolate....What about dried fruit lovers? Start again with a chewier base and add chopped apricots, pineapple, mango, cherries, craisins, and apple. I didn't say raisins because I find them to be rather gross...sorry party people.
See I can't tell you what the absolutely best cookie ever is because there isn't a specific one. My favorite could be your taste bud nightmare! But for starters here's a base you can add just about anything to...

• 2 cups plus 2 tablespoon all-purpose flour

• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda

• 1/2 teaspoon salt

• 12 tablespoon (11/2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled until warm

• 1 cup light or dark brown sugar, packed

• 1/2 cup granulated sugar

• 1 large egg plus 1 egg yolk

• 2 teaspoon vanilla extract

• And you here can add 10-12 oz. of anything you want

1. Adjust oven racks to upper- and lower-middle positions and heat oven to 325 degrees. Line two large cookie sheets with parchment paper.

2. Whisk flour, baking soda, and salt together in medium bowl; set aside.

3. Either by hand or with electric mixer, mix butter and sugars until thoroughly blended. Beat in egg, yolk, and vanilla until combined. Add dry ingredients and beat at low speed just until combined. Stir in stuff to taste.

4. Roll scant 1/4 cup dough into ball. Holding dough ball in fingertips of both hands, pull into two equal halves. Rotate halves 90 degrees and, with jagged surfaces facing up, join halves together at their base, again forming a single ball, being careful not to smooth dough’s uneven surface. Place formed dough onto cookie sheet, leaving 2 1/2 inches between each ball.

5. Bake, reversing position of cookie sheets halfway through baking (from top to bottom and front to back), until cookies are light golden brown and outer edges start to harden yet centres are still soft and puffy, 15 to 18 minutes. Cool cookies on sheets. When cooled, peel cookies from parchment. Makes about 18 large cookies

I apologize for how awesome you're cookies may be when you are done, I am by no means responsible for any addictions, weight gain or severed relationships due to the lack of sharing that takes place. I mean it people I'm not taking the blame.

Ok so cookies don't need to be all goopy and chocolicious....how about rosemary, or lavender, or heck why not the whole garden?

Rosemary shortbread cookies

• 1 1/2 cups unsalted butter
• 2/3 cup white sugar
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary
• 2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons white sugar for decoration

Directions

1. In a medium bowl, cream together the butter and 2/3 cup of sugar until light and fluffy. Stir in the flour salt and rosemary until well blended. The dough will be somewhat soft. Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour.
2. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
3. On a lightly floured surface, roll the dough out to 1/4 inch thickness. Cut into rectangles 1 1/2x2 inches in size. Place cookies 1 inch apart on the lined cookie sheets. Sprinkle the remaining sugar over the tops.
4. Bake for 8 minutes in the preheated oven, or until golden at the edges. Cool on wire racks, and store in an airtight container at room temperature.

Yea son thats right! Spread a little orange marmalade on those puppies and SNAP DIGGITY! Now thats some good stuff.

Now this is my jam, Lemon Lavender Shortbread Cookies

1. 1/3 cup sugar
2. 1 teaspoon dried lavender blossoms, chopped
3. 1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
4. 1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter, softened
5. 1 cup all-purpose flour
6. 1/2 teaspoon salt

1. In a medium bowl, mix the sugar with the chopped lavender and grated lemon zest. Using a handheld electric mixer, beat in the butter at moderate speed. At low speed, beat in the flour and salt until a soft dough forms. Transfer the dough to a sheet of wax paper and refrigerate for 20 minutes. Form the dough into a 4-inch log and chill for at least 45 minutes longer.
2. Preheat the oven to 350°. Slice the shortbread dough into 1/4-inch-thick rounds and place the rounds on ungreased baking sheets. Freeze the rounds for 10 minutes.
3. Bake the shortbread for 20 to 25 minutes, or until the edges are lightly browned. Transfer the baked shortbread to a wire rack to cool completely.
   

I am thinkin' that cookies need to be in my near future. So tell me, whats your favorite cookie? I wanna know! Well I hope you had massive amounts of enjoyment from reading this, until next blog eat something delicious!!

Finding Peace throught Music

I decided to take this time to talk about musics influence on my body and mind. I know many chefs/cooks/who cares that feel less stress if they are able to listen to their music at work. I know this one wicked pissah dudeguy that gets so engulfed in his music, it's like a trance and the music understands him and his problems. If you allow yourself to let go of all your inhibitions the music will take you on journey of enlightenment and self discovery.
I know to some people this all sounds nuts because music isn't essential to them and that makes me sad. I cannot picture my life without music, or sound altogether, it's a powerful stress reliever. Especially when I am at work, if the kitchen has only the sounds of ovens, hoods, dishwashers, slamming pots and pans, my god I would go insane! There are kitchen folk that believe music is distraction and there should be no noise but I say screw em'! My life in general needs that distraction(if thats what it's going to be referred as). For example: Three years and one month ago when my Grammy passed away the only album that I listened to was Continuum by John Mayer. His lyrics throughout the whole thing were soothing and a sort of healing for me. Especially in Gravity, actually most of the songs had lyrics that felt right for what I was going through. To this day if I feel very sad about her passing those songs helps, and I'll never get over her dying. And forever I won't be able to listen to George Winstons December without picturing her on Thanksgiving or Christmas bustling through the tight spaced house with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and our family gathering and just being together. It's not like that anymore.
And now I am crying, way to go Pam. Though I have found it to be true, some music just speaks to people during certain periods of their lives, a death, a birth, new love, old friends, memories, family traditions, any of those things have a soundtrack for me. If I hear for example, Riding in my Car by NRBQ I instantly think of my dad because he loves that song, played it a lot, and brought me to see NRBQ when I was twelve on the common in Downtown Springfield. If I hear and song by En Vogue or Salt N' Peppa I am instantly sent back to a memory of riding in my moms red Nissan using a flashlight from her glove box and belting out and of those songs with both my mom and sister as my band mates. I use music as a portal to a fonder memory or a dream of mine I hope to reach.
I thrive off of music, it is a beautiful gift from the many talented and wonderful people who create it and share it with us. Listen to your favorite song after reading this and just take a small moment for yourself to relax and let it all sink in.
"If music be the food of love, play on."