I hate cilantro

This blog will have nothing to do with cilantro I just had to tell you all my hatred of that foul and offensive herb. I find my body rejecting it when I put it in my mouth or if my nose smells it it quits on me, jumps off and runs away. Have you ever chopped a ton of it and then brought the cutting board to the sink and ran it under hot water? Well the vapor from that green death makes my skin end itself. I know it's odd and I am a rare cilantro hater but it is what it is.
I had Thai spring rolls and the menu failed to mention that they would be laced with it and I had to endure it because it was all I ordered...and they were raw. On the bright side, the sauce for dipping was yummy:)
Today I would like to talk about cake, both the band and the actual thing. Both are a many splendor thing and bring smiles and happiness to many. Haha I won't really talk about the band, but they will be at the Green River Music Festival and I really want to go! Old crow medicine show will be there as well, I wannnnnanananaa gooooooo! Oh well, so cake....
I won't go over all aspects of cake just a couple things that I want to talk about because this is MY blog NOT YOURS so shut up!! Thats right son. Cake is a pretty awesome thing, you can literally make any kind of cake with any flavor and spice and any thing ITS FREAKING AMAZING!!! You can have torte(short two layers only) you can have bombes, gateaus, they can be stacked high for weddings, you can make it in a mold and create a cake house and fill it with mousse people and the can live happy little mousse lives until the pam tornado whips through and destroys it.....wow I am messed up. But yes cake is flipping awesome. I love it madly...haha get it I made a reference to a cake song...ha..ha...MOVING ON!
Whats you favorite type of cake? Now wait before you answer I just need to say ICE CREAM CAKE DOESN'T COUNT! It is not cake it is ice cream that has been shaped in to a cylindrical shape with layers of different ice cream with what ever the hell those chunks in the middle are, what are those? It must be MSG because I don't understand people when they go "Im not a huge cake fan but I LOVE ice cream cake" Screw you baskin robbins.
But really if you could have any cake, even if you've never had it and want to try it what is it? You whores can feel free to leave comments you know, feed back people its important! My favorite is....well I don't have one....I've made and had many really good cakes, and absolutely terrible cakes.... Sorry mom but I am telling this story. PICTURE IT! Your turning 20, you're i your externship for Culinary school for pastry and baking, your mom buys a cake from some random ass Polish bakery in Vernon CT and your pretty stoked you didnt have to make it. The families there your all having a great time, dinner was fabulous and everyones excited for dessert. Ma Dukes pulls out the ice cream and plates, you cut in, serve the slices, and then silence....everyones thinking is but no one wants to say it. Your mom just bought the worst cake in history. The "baker" of this monstrosity clearly forgot any and all sweeteners of this "cake". It was dry and flavorless, I assume it was supposed to be chocolate given its brownish color but I couldn't taste it. The "frosting" was just colored shortening. I mean at least if it was butter it would have tasted like something but god that texture was terrible! Yea thank god for ice cream because that was nasty!
SO back to cakes that don't make you want to commit a felony. I personally enjoy all cake, except one with whole nuts that you can see in them, I have this prejudice against the texture of nuts in baked good, its not good karma to put nuts baked goods. Ground up to barely noticeable but still contributes to the flavor of the cake its ok. I made a pretty awesome cake roll at workski today, I'll describe it but I dont have recipes right now, I'M SORRY STOP YELLING AT ME! I started with the sponge cake and I had never used this recipe before* and it was the lightest sponge I had ever made. For dessert special this week I made blueberry tiramisu so I had leftover mascarpone filling and turned it into a mascarpone grand marnier mousse. After the cake got all cooled down and happy I spread the mousse on and rolled it up! The great thing about rolls is it needs nothing else but a filling because it looks so nice with the rolled look. And viola! A stupid Sunday brunch dessert out of the way. I'll need to remember that because it's so easy and I hate making brunch crap.
In the future I'll be talking about cakes more so don't get your panties in a bunch, also if you have a question about cakes ask in the comments! Seriously people comment this craphole of a blog and make me feel special! So until next time eat something delicious!!


*I have this habit of googling recipes and loving them but then never remembering to write them down, yes I have cook books but for some strange reason use my google technique. Ready whenever you need any recipe use this format."The best____ever", it works for me almost everytime.