Monday, December 27, 2010

103 Fever=Quick Blogaroni

It's been a blah four days, I came down with a nasty fever on Christmas eve and have been relatively comatose until this morning when I dragged myself from couch to computer chair. Now holding myself upright for so long has worn me out so I must make this quick. Christmas was a bust, three months and 24 days until The St Paddys Parade and six months and 25 days until the first day of Summer. If time could speed up quite quick just for those two things I'd be very happy. Ok well until I'm well peace out.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Happy Holidays from your Friendly Neighborhood Naked Baker

Quickly in this season of family and giving I just wanted to let all of you know that you all are wonderful, beautiful people and I hope that this season is filled with love and warmth. I look forward to writing after the holiday about an amazing meal I had last night and a song that speaks to me, along with all my baking shenanigans. Again Happy Christmahaunakwanzaka to you and yours:0)

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Notcho Grand Mommas Fruit Cake!

Hey it's almost Christmas and I can't think of a better way to celebrate than with fruitcake! I know you're thinking the same exact thing..right?!?! Ok fine I realize that your vision of fruit cake is much like the repulsive picture above. I am here to rescue you from that horrendous excuse for a dessert. Fruit cake has such a bad reputation though! I feel bad for it, it's trying to spread Christmas cheer, and the folk that still come packing to every party with one in tow are trying to do the same thing. Even if they do buy one at the dollar store and unwrap and slap it on a plate in hopes of people thinking they actually took the time to make it.

I was given the gift of loving fruitcake back when I was attending CCI and Chef Lynn was all like "Oh hey we are making fruitcake today!" All us students were all like "Oh god not fruitcake! Why? Think of the children!" we were quite the dramatic bunch..apparently. Chef was much more professional and prison guard like as well, I loved her:0) She was effing awesome...uhoh...DIGRESSION! So anywowilosemytrainofthoughteasily! We got to work frantically like little elves making this new and improved fruitcake that was going to change our opinion on this under appreciated holiday tradition, even if it was the middle of April. It got me to pondering and I wondered...where the mother eff did fruitcake originate from? SO I looked it up, being over three years ago I lost my notes but I shall provide some nifty info on this delectable fruity breadcake.

In a nut shell! The ancient Romans have a rough draft of fruit cake in which they use pomegranate seeds, pine nuts, and raisins mixed up in barley mash. What? You don't think that sounds good? Well pardon me but they didn't have Kitchen Aids and ovens that bake at 350 degrees for and hour. If you could hear me I was just scoffing at your judgements. So onward with the history! Back in those fun yet plaque infested middle ages they got a bit more creative and and added some honey and spices and preserved fruit rather than dried crap. And that is when the name fruitcake was created...applaud for the middle ages please for their creativity...I mean fruit in a cake and they called it fruitcake!! INGENIOUS! So as it turns out Europe went nuts, I know I'm so punny, over fruitcake and started adding nuts and butter and fresh fruits, all depending on availability of the product. Ocean spray and Tropicana weren't around quite yet so it was tough to get this stuff. Those crazy Germans were using milk in theirs! The use of sugar didn't really come about until the American colonies started harvesting it..imagine that America providing sugar? Odd. They also discovered that the fruit could be candied and lasted longer making the cake more affordable and popularity soared! Thus giving us the unfortunate state of fruitcake in this day and age. Countries all over the world have their own adaptations of this tradition and also different times of year they have it as tradition.

Fruitcake is pretty awesome, I mean come on it's been around for at least 1000 years in different forms and flavors. People all over have made their own versions and everyone loves it! So why don't we end any hatred you may have towards fruitcake and let me introduce you to my friend Farm House Fruitcake. This style of fruitcake was handed down to me by Chef Lynn and she tells me it was a formula that her dear friend and old mentor of mine Chef Simon Stevenson. I gotta give props were props are due, ya know? So do me favor go grab a bottle of really it's for the cake I swear...

This formula is originally in weight rather than volume so I'll volumize it for you, oh, I like the way that sounds!

Unsalted Butter- One stick
Self Rising Four(Don't freak out I'll explain)- 1 cup
Confectioner Sugar- 1/2 cup
Mixed Dry Fruit- 1 cup...I usually use apricots, craisins, and raisins
Cinnamon- 1/4 teaspoon
Cardamom- 1/8 t
Nutmeg- 1/8 t
Ginger- 1/8 t
Whole eggs- 2
Milk- 3 Tablespoons
Lemon Zest- 2 t

Self rising flour= 1 1/2t Baking Powder and 1/2 t of salt per cup of flour.
Soak your fruit in a mix of brandy and red wine for up to a month but no less that one day. It doesn't call for wine but I like the depth of flavor it adds.

Drain your fruit, reserve the liquids, I'll explain later.
1.Rub the butter into the flour until it resembles coarse meal, I've done this successfully with a paddle attachment on a kitchen aid.
2.Stir in sugar, mixed fruit, and spices.
3.Beat eggs and milk together
4.Stir the egg mix into the flour mix and add the zest
5.Grease a 6'' cake pan and line bottom with parchment
6.Bake at 325 until middle is set and cake is firm to the touch. 1 hourish check at 50 min just in case.

Cool in the pan until warm then turn out onto cooling rack

For your tasty liquids I said to reserve I would suggest making a hot mulled cider and adding some of the tasty deliciousness (A nickname Tim and I gave it) for a lovely Holiday drink!

So There you have it the cake that has converted some of the most stubborn fruitcake haters into lovers. And I'm a lover not a fighter so I am a huge fan of this cake. I hope you try this recipe and if you do let me know how it turns out! I love you all and hope your Christmahanukwanzaakah's are filled with warmth and the best of holiday traditions!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Sometimes You Just Can't Help but Feel Down

But instead of feeling down think up! I am sick of this feeling of sadness in my cranium so what would any well intentioned baker with inspiration do? Get in the damn kitchen! The last few days have been filled with kitchen deliciousness, and tummy aches, stupid bowels! So useless! But anywhocaresaboutmyconstipation! Lets start with that lovely day of the week us down here on Earth call Saturday!

Well I started with work and what a fun time that was! Oh I am so kidding teehaha! Oh I made nothing of interest there so we will just go ahead and skip over that and pretend I woke up at 7:30 rather than 3:30...oh I feel so refreshed already! SO waking up bright eyed and bushy tailed I planted myself in the kitchen with the sun shining in and started whipping up some tasty chocolate heath muffins for my darling husband Timeteo. Oh a recipe? Well shucks why didn't ya just ask!
Pams Muffins of Love with any additions you please...I'm just giving you the plain recipe that you can tweak as you please.

Tim loved them! I didn't eat any:0( oh well! I didn't have time to anyways because I had to shuffle off to make pierogis at my buddy Katie's house with her lovely famila! I've been making them now for three years with Katie's peeps and Tim's family, isn't that cute? People invite the baker to join in their yearly traditions to make the dough! It sure is fun to sit surrounded by scrumptious delights and not be able to eat them! I sure love that torture! Well anywhoot, pierogis are super to make so heres the recipe we used!

2c AP flour
1/2t salt
2 eggs
1/3c water

Mix that lovely stuff up and cover with a hot towel for ten minutes then make some filling and roll out to a level 3 on a pasta roller and cut circle to the size you want. Fill, fold and pinch! Freeze, boil, eat!

Saturday's culinary escapades weren't over there, no siree bob! My brother in law and sister in law were coming over for dinner and to make gingerbread cookies! YAY! It was super fun and we had some fun fun times! I must warn the photo contains photos of a vulgar nature due to our incessant denial of growing up.
The recipe I used was very spicy and delicious! So here it it!
3 c AP flour
1 1/2 t baking powder
3/4 tn baking soda
1/4 tn salt
1 T ground ginger
1 3/4 t ground cinnamon
1/4 t ground cloves
6 T unsalted butter
3/4 c light brown sugar
1 egg
1/2 c blackstrap molasses plus 2 T
2 t vanilla
1 t orange zest

My directions are horrible and uninformative

Cream butter and sugahhh, add egg, add molasses and vanilla, add zest and dry crap until dough forms. divide in two discs, refrigerate for two to eight hours. 375 degree oven. roll out cut shapes bake for eight minutes, slightly under baked, take out cool and decorate, WIN!


I also cooked them a tasty meal of lemon dill panko crusted salmon with steamed green beans and butternut squash. RECIPE NOT INCLUDED!

After of yummotastic time we had some fun time shenanigans pictures included..right now!

Last photo added for pure hilarity, thats Tim and I on our wedding day. My goodness we are a sexy couple.


It was so rainy as mentioned in previous post so we went to the flea market! So fun:0) We found a beautiful refinished antique vanity that we are going to buy if it's still there next Sunday! I love the flea market it is filled with the craziest but friendliest nut jobs in Holyoke. I ended up buying about $1000 dollars worth of crap, in my head that is, and walked away spending only five dollars on two dvds. The Wedding Singer (one of my favorite movies) and Love Actually a lovely Christmas classic.

We had a bunch of leftover lemon dill panko from the night before so we got creative for dinner. We made Fried Crab Balls...I'm working on the name but just work with me here. Oh man they were, and still are amazing. I made up this recipe and wrote it down asap because I when I open my restaurant (and I will) this item must be on the menu! So here is my balls.
Oh immaturity how I love thee.

8 oz. neufchatel cheese (pronounced in Pam, new-fun-chill) Incorrect is my middle name...after Danger that is;0)
One can on lump crab meat
One can of the shredded crab junk...actual name
1T chopped fresh(funky) dill
1t sherry vinegar
one egg
salt and pepper to your personal liking
mix all that love together and make delicious crab ball babies
I used a small ice cream scoop then froze them for an hour to insure they would explode when I fried them.

Prepare for your fry station

Preheat your fryer, assuming you have one of course to 375
after your balls are nice, cold take them and do this order for ultimate frying success. roll in flour, then egg, then flour, then egg, then firmly roll in panko love. Then they are ready for frying. Mine took about 5 minutes until golden, amazing, and delicious.
I ensure you that they are tasty!

So now I leave you with a mouth that hopefully is salivating and inspiration to get into your kitchens and rock out!

Love peace and fryer grease!!!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

It is Cold, Rainy, and Yucky Outside...What to do?

Dreaming of Sunnier Days

So it's crapfest 2010 on this lovely Sunday in December and I am feeling adventurous....what would you do on a day like this?
I've decided to come up with some things that are cheap and fun! Just like me! hahaha nah I'm kidding!

-Write a quick script, shoot in one or two takes, edit, and laugh. Then post it to youtube....Oh and by the way my youtube is

-Scavenger Hunt, a silly one. I know that in my area we have so many awesome locations full of crazy people like me that would gladly help with a scavenger hunt.


-Open the book of raw foods I refer to on a daily basis and pick of those crazy recipes you've been to afraid to try, go to whole foods buy the good stuff because S&S doesn't carry Braggs Liquid Aminos. Oh an example you ask? Sure here goes!
Ok so this doesn't need aminos but it still sounds scrumptious!
Hearty Corn Salad
3 portobello mushrooms, chopped
1/3c balsamic vinegar
1/3c Olive Oil, cold pressed
3T Maple Syrup...REAL STUFF not effing aunt jemima ain't got nothing on vermont
2T sliced scallions
1 bell pepper of any color...I'm an equal opportunity employer
1c grape tomatoes, sliced in half
1/4 to 1/2 pound baby lettuce because babies are tastier
4 ears of fresh corn kernels cut from the cob

Marinate the mushies for an hour in the vinegar, oil and syrup...SET ASIDE FOR AN HOUR BITCHES!

Mix all that veggie love, minus lettuce, in a bowl. Put the babies on a plate, and top with the Veggie love and scoop of mushies. ENJOY!!!!!!

-Take your hyper indoor cat to an empty but closed warehouse and let him run free for a while to tucker him out

-Write up your escape plan then go to barnes and noble and research all of the beautiful destinations you can move to...if all conditions were perfect....then go get coffee and sulk because your broke.

-Make sweet sweet passionate and good for your health!

-Make early morning cocktails and have a dance party in celebration of having a new computer and all of your music in one place! And finally using your iphones music holding capabilities

-Create a Blippy account and write reviews of purchases you've made on itunes or other platforms and feel special when someone thinks what you write is awesome.

-Go on rainy car hiking: the art of driving around in the scenic parts of your state and getting lost on purpose in hopes of finding new and interesting places.

-Create new words and post them on urban dictionary

So yea I think I will be hitting up some flea markets and taking a lovely car hike today to kill the cabin fever...and maybe go buy some cabin fever beer by berkshire brewing company because it's delicious and festive!


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

My thoughts, though they will be unread, on "Bridal Plasty"

Please pardon me before I start writing I need to vomit, because now I really know I'm not thin enough, pretty enough or perfect enough to walk on this earth. I hear now in order to publish blogs online you need to weigh no more than 120lbs...even thats pushing it..fatty. You must be at least 5'11'' in heels, big beach ball boobies and have a perfect symmetrical face with high cheek bones, fat swollen vagina lips, a creepy michael nose and crazy brows!

Yes of course the perfect woman, we all desire to be that...unless you are a man then I don't judge you for wanting to be the perfect woman. But for real? This shows premise is a bunch of brides to be are fighting for a chance to go under the knife and become the perfect bride, what ever that is. Every week there is a competition and the girl that wins gets a surgery, messed up. Some girls are chubby, some have big noses, boobs they don't like, scars(I can understand that surgery) and all just want to be perfect for when they walk down the aisle. Heres a question though...what if your fiance doesn't think you're perfect? I am looking at this as a "they all got engaged because they were deeply in love and this is their soulmate" point of view, but, when your boyfriend made the step to ask you his hand in marriage and all the times you've kissed, and (if you are the sex before marriage type) when you make love and he see's you in your most natural and beautiful way, naked, doesn't he think you're perfect then? and if not he's a total douche and you shouldn't be with him if he thinks you need to change your appearance! I just think that a natural unlifted, unnipped, untucked and all of you body and face is the best version of yourself.

Yeah I know, I am not happy with my body, or face but I know Tim looks at me and feels like he's the luckiest guy alive. I wouldn't mind a little smart lipo help around my midsection but I'm broke as shit and go to the gym instead because I'm not a selfish bitch. When I got married I didn't give a flying crap about what I looked like for Tim...yeah I know that sounds awful but think about it this way...If this man is the man you are spending the rest of your life with and if you know him to any degree of intimacy and friendship then I would think he has:
a. held your hair while you puked because you got food poisoning
b. heard you fart, or burp and you're not afraid to in front of him
c. has seen making the ugliest crying faces because everyone is when then cry
d. enough love for you that it doesn't matter if you're wearing a burlap sack, chances are he's getting laid tonight...oh and you are now his wife....of course:0)

I'm sorry for this silly rant but it just really saddens me to think that our society in so vain and in need of the perfect everything, the man with the right paycheck, the nice car and home, that we've lost touch in what the sanctity of marriage is all Can't two crazy assholes just fall in love and get hitched for no other reason but that? I did and don't judge me unless you want a visit from stan and larry, my body guards....want to meet them?




Monday, December 6, 2010

Awesome Party 53-63

I haven't felt much awesomeness as of late but I just spent a week with my best friend, even though I was very sick it inspired me.

53. Exploring 156ft. underground in a cavern that is thousands of years olds

54. Decorating for Christmas in December, not November because you like to give Thanksgiving some breathing room

55. Having a severe sinus infection that causes you to have neck and head pain so bad any touch or movement makes you cry, but seeing how delicately and closely your husband cares for you at one of your weakest moments. It really proves how much he loves you.

56. RT. 7 in Vermont from NY through the Green Mountains and all the cute downtowns you drive through. It is gorgeous.

57. Buying a new computer!

58. The surprising amount of liberation you feel after deleting your Facebook.

59. Getting to go to bed and wake up next to the person you love on the same schedule, it's small but it's really awesome to wake up together in the morning and just chill out in your pj's until you decide what to do.

60. Visiting NYC in the Christmas season for the first time. The lights and the sounds and the architecture, mind blowing.

61. Home Alone 1&2 but not the third one that was a travesty.

62. Wireless Keyboards and mouse

63. Finaly having a fast enough computer that you can post youtube videos check it

Aight yo, peace out

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I really hope someone can make this make sense

Oh hello people, yea I know I stopped writing,get over it I was feeling empty in the brain. So completely unfoodrelated I wanted to discuss something. I'm 23 and married and I get asked more often then I care to admit why the eff did I get married so young. I get it, it does seem a bit unorthodox to some folks because it is such a big commitment but they need to understand how long Tim and myself have been together. It will be seven years for us this December, his twin brother whom is also married will be with his wife seven years this November and I know of a few more couples who were together in their teens and married early twenties.

I would've expected more appreciation towards us because in this day and age true love and high school sweethearts are a rarity. So what I was engaged before I as legally old enough to drink! Just because your 52 and divorced with an 5 kids and a lawyer bill bigger than you ex wifes new tits she bought with your child support money, don't shit on my happiness.

Ok so I get some head scratching when they find out about me but can someone justify why it's not ok for me to be married so young but when 18 year old Marlena Valasquez is popping out her second child and those bratty "teen moms" from MTV are on the cover of Us Magazine being praised for their bravery and spirit whilst having a child at 16. FUCKING BULLSHIT! "Oh hey Brad I just got my first period want to go have unprotected sex and get knocked up and then you can treat me bad for nine months because you a teen boy with his brain in his dick and then when we have this baby you can get a night job as a clerk at a convenience store to support us and maybe if we are lucky TLC will give us a reality show"

Dear general American public who suck at the teets of cable television and trash mags, suck my fat cock. Oh oops am I being vulgar well that blows. You assholes will give these childmothers accolades for being so courageous but when a couple from highschool, with no children, beat the odds and have true love and fight battles together and go through really tough intense moments and trust enough in each other to get married and know that yes this beautiful person that I have grown up with is the only person I want to be with for the rest of my life, you call them crazy and that they are silly for committing to young.

As soon as they get their heads out of their butts they have the audacity to ask, ok so when are you having kids? No no no! I'm sorry but not everyone needs to have kids in life. As contradictory as this is to the new norm I felt ok with getting married at 21 but I feel as though I am to young for children, also Tim and I have chosen to not have children. That really blows peoples minds.

OK I am done, sorry if I offended anyone.

Oh wait, The fact that just under 1/3 of all girls in the United States will get pregnant in their teenage years is sad also, more than 2/3 of all teenagers who have a baby will not graduate from high school. But feel free to give them a TV gig

Friday, August 6, 2010

Myrtle Beach

Hello my lovekins I hope you have all had a great week and a halfish? I don't know exactly. As of now I am still in Myrlte Beach for another couple days and as much fun as I am having I must say that I miss my home...ok not Walnut Street ha! I'll never miss that but I mean our Happy Valley.

Obviously I was very aware that things run differently down here but you can never really be prepared for a change, no matter what kind. The weather is much hotter yes but a completely different kind, it's enjoyable and easy to adjust to even the humidity. There are BP gas stations everywhere and it's hard to stick it to the man when he's on every corner. I haven't seen a single bug, not even a spider. My landscape gives me the sads because there are no lush green rolling hills, just sunwashed pavement. I really enjoy seeing mountains and rivers and tiny little downtowns with beautiful architecture. But don't get me wrong this neck of the woods has its beauty too!

The beaches as so big and white and clean! There is always a spot to sit and you're not all up in your neighbors business. The water is less choppy so enjoying water activities is a bit easier, but don't get me wrong, banana boating was the most intense arm workout I've ever had! Three days later and they still hurt. The water is so effing warm, it like your constantly surrounded by people peeing it's an uneasy warmth. And on a hot day it's barely refreshing but thats ok because it's easier to swim in.

I've always heard that people in the south are nicer....I'm not so sure about that haha! Crosswalks don't mean squat to drivers they'll go anyways! They hound you down when you walk by their shops and follows you then call you names when you don't want you name airbrushed onto a shirt haha! I don't need Mickey giving my name the thumbs up but thanks anyways! I havent shopped down on the strip at all, it's down at the beach, because I feel everything is a scam! We got a free parking pass from the Aquarium, when we went to the lot this toothless peice of jerky with white hair said he required a 15 dollar deposit for the lot. It only cost 6 to park there, he took the 6 told us over two hours and he'd keep our money. When leaving he "forgot" to give us the cash back until Danielle asked for it back and acted like a fool hahah!

The food we've eaten has all been very good. I've been on the salad end of things due to my ruhtarded stomach but still wicked good! BBQ is always available and I'm dying for some seafood but Danielle not being the lover of sea life we haven't made it to a restaurant yet...maybe today! I'll be updating more often now kiddies!

Love Peace and Chicken Grease!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

So Tired but here's 43-52 of awesomeness extreme

I have not been uber interested in life lately but I must stay positive. I throughly apologize for my lack of food knowledge, I've been stressed but when I am relaxed on a beach next week I will posting lots of yum yum blogs along with the awesomness

also spread the word sluts

43. Shelburne Falls Coffee Roasters chestnut roast

44. Hot summer days with no humidity

45. Napping on a hot summer day

46. Getting caught in the rain

47. Celebrating an aniversary

48. Freckles

49. Being comfortable with someone enough to pee with the door open

50. People not reacting like children when they hear you do that

51. Listening to Frank Sinatra records and dancing around the dining room with your love.

52. Playing truth or dare

I hope those who read this are having a spiffy day, remember to be awesome and you can comment without signing up! I love you if you're reading this.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Sugar and Fruit as well as Awesominity 32-42

So today whilst browsing the produce section I came across a new fruit power antioxidant crazy drink and picked it up. I'll be honest I thought it was just yummy 100% fruit juice and I had every intention of adding elderflower vodka to it.....don't judge me...

But anyways I purchased said beverage without looking at the content, odd because I do that to everything, but whatever I didn't. So I got into my car and took a swig of it because I was excited for a new fruity venture, it was disgusting! It tasted like splenda covered blueberries swimming in a pool of wheat germ, bleck! Oh man was it gross! But it led me to this question....why does fruit, a naturally sweet and awazing gift from mother nature, need extra sweetener?

I know it's a silly gripe but whatevs word, I don't find it to be a slight annoyance when I ask for a smoothie without added sugar and get looked at like a crack whore with an inflamed growth on my lip....what? I'm just sayin.

But yea so how bout some positveness, awesomeness and plain ol' feelin goodness!?

32. Running into old friends at the mall!

33. Hiimrawn's parody of pretty much everything! If you don't know who that is look him up on the tube of

34. Sex...plain and simple it's a beautiful thing that is a proven and natural stress reliever. Nothing wrong with mking up more reasons to make the beast with two backs.

35. Disney sing-a-longs on long car trips and not being embarrassed about how many lyrics you know.

36. The saying "out of sight"

37. Imagining Morgan Freeman narrating your life

38. Cold kitty noses all up on my face

39. The La Di Da app for Iphone because it autotunes your voice and makes you sound like key dollar ha! Ke$ha for those who are unaware of my lingos

40. Clean kitchen floors

41. Guilty pleasures, any, the feeling of doing something "bad" is an invigorating feeling. It makes you feel alive!

42. The blue hue that a bright vivid moon shines on the earth on clear and breathtaking nights.

Spread the word of awesome!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Awesominity 21-31

Time for awesomeness to continue! I hope everyone is having an awesome day thus far! And we're off!

21. Going to the gym and running a mile more than you usually can.

22. Looking at your scars and telling the story of why you have it.

23. Sushi

24. Playing Apples to Apples with a large group of your drunk friends!

25. Rannsaka, a antique shop in Belchertown

26. Camping in the rain

28. a pint of your favorite brew

29. Orange cats named Noodles and Ace

30. Black cats named Prudence

31. Youtube


Sunday, July 18, 2010

Awesome things 11-20

So today hasn't been the best but I am going to try and boost my spirits by thinking about awesome things.

11. Smiling every time you walk up to your car because it's adorable and you purchased it yourself.

12. Pick a huge booger....don't make a face we all do it:-p

13. The new Old Spice commercial

14. A venti Iced Passion Ice Tea from Starbucks

15. Marrying into a Polish family and learning the secret perogi secret:)

16. The smell of driving through farm lands

17. Playing N64

18. Hidden watering holes on a hot summer day

19. Mike Rowes voice

20. Singing along to a song really loudly like it's your own and like your the best one who can.

Again feel free to spread the awesomiminty and leave your own awesome things for me.

Friday, July 16, 2010

1000+ Awesome Things

In an attempt at enlightening myself and enjoying life more I'm starting a daily addition of things that I think are awesome. Small things to the biggest of level of awesome. Also some of these things may not be awesome to you or you haven't done them and don't know the calibur of awesomimity you have yet to experience. So in light of this blog I shall give you ten awesome things to start....

1. Starting a new blog, even if only five people read it at least your getting your thoughts out of your head to make space for your new brilliant thoughts.

2. Waking up with your alarm and not being exhausted.

3. Sun kissed skin with that healthy summer glow

4. The thought of getting together with you dearest friend later to talk about a vacation you're going to be taking together.

5. A bushell of excited kitties to greet you outside your bedroom door in the morning all anticipating you loving them.

6. When your significant other wakes up long enough before you leave to walk you to the door and give you a kiss goodbye to work.

7. Being ahead of the game at work for the week.

8. Planning a trip to Europe with the possiblity of never coming back.

9. Drawing out plans for a business you want to open someday, it's a way of squeezing out of a rut because it gives you hope that there is more for you out there.

10. Working out because it boosts your attitude and naturally sends good vibes through your body making you happier.

So there it is folks, the first ten. In the future I will even them out by making some of them longer and some really short either way if you have a positive thought or an awesome thing send it my way, I'll add it to the list!

Peace and Love

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Egg Rolls and such

So the other day I made some egg rolls and they were scrumptious. I have no formal training in Asian cuisine but like most things I wing it. My next feat I would like to accomplish is sushi but I need to actually do my homework on that. Ah yes but the rolls de egg, easy, amazing, sexual, delicious.

I went by no recipe because that's just boring right? I walked in my neighborhood stop and plop and guessed what might make a mouth orgasm...napa cabbage, bokchoy, a green apple, shredded carrot, shallot, bean sprouts, garlic and cole slaw mix for filler, oh an fish sauce...don't make sicky faces it makes the egg roll have its amazing addicting taste. I also picked up some sherry vinegar at William Sonoma because the sherry adds a certain umph to it. DON'T FORGET YOUR EGG ROLL WRAPPERS! That would be a travesty.

Chop you shallot, cut up your cabbage and bok and throw everything in to a pot with a little sesame oil, vinegar, 2 tbsp of fish sauce and sugar, a touch of soy sauce and let it all meld and wilt down. Crack and egg directly into the love pool and stir it in. It took me about and hour, then taste and adjust the flavor according to your preference. Let it all cool down for a little bit. Heat some oil to 350 Fahrenheit, roll up your rolls, directions are on the package. Then drop some of those puppies into the oil until golden brown and poof! Sex in your mouth....that sounds stays.

Yup so I had nothing to go off of, I just winged it? wung it? wang it? hmmm, you get it.

OH YEA I made a quick dipping sauce out of soy sauce and honey. What ever ratio you please depending on how sweet or tangy you want.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Cream Puffs Yo!

SO how is everyones Friday going? Mines aight, I'm cooking up some vegtastic egg rolls that are going to be phenomenal. But we are not here to talk about that, no my friends we are here to talk about a very serious Jacob or team Edward? I'm actually team Charlie but you know thats just me....wait what? OH! You wanted to hear about cream puffs I gotcha, my bad.

A brief history of Cream Puffs with the knowledge in my head and the odd language I use: The CP is made with a pastry called Pate a Choux which in French means "little cabbage" this being because they kinda look like cabbages when done correctly! Slap a smile on those puppies and sell them to children and call them dolls! SO anyways the first estimated time Pate a Choux was known to have been made dates back to 1538 give or take some years. They are known to be used more savory back old school days being not very sweet at all. Although they are just fat éclairs they tend to get more attention, I haven't a clue why but yes even here locally The Big-E giant cream puff has garnered national attention being known as "the best" well haha I think I may have stumbled upon a gem of a cream puff today.

I am not a cream puff or éclair fan, I didn't like the pastry ir was flavorless and not pleasing texture wise on the palette, and that god awful fake chocolate glaze that most places use to cover it was so gross! I gave up on them years ago...until now! I found a formula that needs no tweaking and yeilds an amazing thing!! It has flavor, it's a hardier shell that stands up better to fillings and baked so good in a larger size! I know I am a food nerd and get excited about the silliest thing but this was magical. The aroma that filled the kitchen was not one I was used to when baking Pate a Choux, it made me salivate:) A sure way of knowing I made something awesome, Mark(Boss man) ate one, unfilled, he never eats baked goods! I know odd him being a pastry chef and all. The pastry cream I made was a chocolate and then I turned it into a diplomat just to lighten it up because the cream puff was so gargantuan.

Enough making you wait I shall now bestow upon your eye sockets a thing of beauty!

Amazing Choux Paste

1/2 Cup AP Flour
1/2t. Sugar
1/4t salt
4T Unsalted Butter
1/2C Water
2 eggs

1 Egg
1/8t Salt

Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit

Sift together the flour, salt, sugar set aside

Mix one egg and salt set aside

In a sturdy metal pot bring the butter and water to a boil for faux emulsion, as soon as a boil is reached dump in flour mixture then stir quickly with a wooden spoon until a ball of dough forms and pulls away from pot. Transfer to mixing bowl and beat until warm not hot. When it reaches a more manageable temp add eggs one at a time and mix until dough comes together. Scoop of pipe any size, they bake well in muffin pans, brush with egg wash then bake for 15 minutes then turn oven down 350 and bake another 30-40 minutes. They will be golden brown and have no shininess.

So simple and awesome! Now you can fill them any which way you please but I'll give my chocolate pastry cream formula.

Chocolate Pastry Cream awesomeness!

16oz Milk
2oz Sugar

2 Yolks
1 Egg
1.25oz Corn Starch
2oz Sugar

1oz Butter
2t Vanilla
2oz chopped chocolate

In a heavy saucepan heat milk and sugar to just a boil

Whip eggs then sift in corn starch and sugar

Temper egg mixture by slowly beating in hot milk mix

return mix to saucepan and stir constantly until it boils and thickens, remove from heat

stir in butter, chocolate and vanilla pour into clean pan cover with plastic wrap make sure it touches the cream to prevent a skin from forming. put in fridge and cool.

for diplomat whip up 2 cups of whipping cream slightly sweeten then fold into cooled mixture.

Fill your puffs and viola!

I most certainly hope you enjoy these if you make them and I'm going to eat my rolls of the egg because they are done and delicious!!

Peace out

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Quick Bit about Fitness

Hey everyone! I am going to be updating this much more often but real quick before I go off into the heat I have to give props to man who will never read this post. There is an elderly gentlemen who live in my neighborhood(give or take a block or two) who wakes up everyday and walks. This may not seem something to be in awe of but this man, when I first saw him was at least 450 pounds, barely able to walk with a cane. But he did, and he does every damn day around all of downtown Holyoke, even when the temp gauge reaches 104 degrees. He now looks like from what I can guess, 300 pounds.

It makes me want to laugh at those who complain when it's hot and they can't function properly or work out or work or whatever they need to bitch about. This guy inspires me to keep to my raw diet, even when it's super hard, and continue my workout routine even when I get questioned as to why I find it necessary to go to the gym six days of the week on top of all the other activities I do.

SO shut up and go function it'll be freezing before we know it and everyone will complain it's to cold.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Dump Cake

Are you sitting down? If not please do, because I am about to unleash a power of tastiness that is beyond all. This simple yet complex compilation of ingredients is such an intense explosion once it hits the taste buds your are forced down on to all fours weeping in amazement. I do not jest, this is a serious thing and I am trusting you with it and I trust that you will never tamper with its perfection, it needs not to be tampered with! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?! Also it is so simple that if you cannot do it I suggest you just shut up and try again, and if you don't like it then shut your trap because I know not a soul who disliked it. Are you ready? Hmmm, I'm not so sure you are... Oh you are? ok here goes, brace yourselves for this is so un-Pamlike but my Gram taught me this and I will teach the children I will never have it as well....
Ladies and Gentlemen, Dump Cake

A can of peaches drained
A can of cherry pie filling
a stick of butter MELTED
A pan of the 9x13 measurement SPRAYED MOTHER TRUCKERS
dump(hence the name) the cans of unfortunate produce into the pan, dump the cake mix on to of that, pour the melted butter on top of that
Bake at 375 for 40 minutes
Cool or not, you can burn your mouth its cool
An have a certain mouth orgasm unless you're a miserable tastebudless whore.

I need you to appreciate this because the woman who baked this for my family and I was a beautiful person who deserves all the recognition.

Good day sirs

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Do you do what makes you happy?

I know it's a rather broad question but it's you do what makes you happy? These days everything is planned around money and society, I say eff that in the a then run over it with a bus and spit on it! Life is so damn short and I say live to the fullest you possibly can! I know many people with talk about job, priority, family, obligations, blah blah! I am going to be pretty repetitive because I'm not a dumbass, I know you've heard this before but throw all your inhibitions to wind, grab life by the horns and for christs sake do something you've always wanted to do.
SO what is it you want to do? Paint world class portraits of landscapes or beautiful women? Become a brew master of the finest microbrewery? Sing the only song you know you can kill in front of hundreds of thousands of people? Become a german prostitute who specializes in erogenous zones unknown to man....hmmm.....but you get my point, right? All I am wondering is what would make you the happiest? I suppose I have just been pondering this lately and I am astonished at the ratio of happy versus settled versus miserable. George Harrison thought happiness was a warm gun but personally, if we're speaking in terms of warmth, I'd say it is a warm pair of your favorite pj pants on a rainy spring day, dinner cooking and the aromas filling your home while listening to the best chill music with your legs in the lap of your husband/wife/best friend/ anyone you love reading your favorite book again for the eighth time with a kitty purring next to you:) See all it takes is a simple thought or vision of your warm happy place, it instantly put a smile on my face!
Settle down toots, this isn't just a bunch of hippy mumbogumbo! I am by no means a hippy, they went out in the early seventies, I just happen to be a person who believes in peace:) I made a promise to myself on January 1st, that was to do the most I could to live this year to the fullest, screw money ties and obligation! You must do something everyday that makes you tick! For example, right now I am listening to Johnny Cash while preparing a delicious greek inspired dinner with the sun shining on my back while I type this blog.
It doesn't take much to find a happy place, you just need to be willing to look deep enough inside your soul to find such a place. For the sake of your todays and tomorrows do something to make yourself happy.
Peace and love to you all and I am working on some awesome food stuffs so if you stay tuned keep on keepin on!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Hey, it's been a while

Hello all you non-existing blog readers of mine. The last month has been one of triumph and sadness but over all happiness has endured and is coming back full force. Ah but you see this is not a personal life and blah blog so I shall persevere and come back with a food all about blog(typo and it's staying). Shall we talk about food?! I think we shall!
Oh dear have I become a love sick school child over this wonder food...I find myself longing for it at the most inopportune of moments. Oh yes this food of my heart is none other than falafel. Yes my dear foodies and lovers of cuisine I have fallen a victim to this Egyptian ball of beans, but god damn it tickles my fancy! Also having just jumped a bit deeper in the world of healthier/raw eating enjoyment this food is a wonder to have around. And just so you know! Traditionally these babies are deep fried into balls of love and ecstasy but Pam happens to bake them in hopes of making herself less guilty about any raw indiscretions:)
Garbanzo Beans(Chickpeas for those of you who don't like fancy talk like me)+Fava Beans+other awesome awesomeness= Falafel! So I reckon your fine ass may want to know how to make falafel, WELL NOW! I do believe I can hook a brotha up.
I've been playing around with various recipes both traditional and nontraditional and I have discovered that you can't make a great thing much greater so here is what I have discovered to be the bestest of the best!
  • 1 cup dried chickpeas or 16 oz. can of chickpeas or garbanzo beans.
  • 1 large onion, chopped
  • 2 cloves of garlic, chopped
  • 3 tablespoons of fresh parsley, chopped
  • 1 teaspoon coriander
  • 1 teaspoon cumin
  • 2 tablespoons flour
  • Salt
  • Pepper
Place dried chickpeas in a bowl, covering with cold water. Allow to soak overnight. Eff that step if using canned beans.

Drain chickpeas, and place in pan with fresh water, and bring to a boil.

Allow to boil for 5 minutes, then let simmer on low for about an hour.

Drain and allow to cool for 15 minutes.

Combine chickpeas, garlic, onion, coriander, cumin, salt and pepper (to yo satisfaction) in medium bowl. Add flour.

A food processor works wonders, you want a paste texture

Form the mixture into small balls, about the size of a ping pong ball. Slightly flatten.

From here you can bake at 375 for 40 minutes or fried at 350 for 5-7 minutes. KEEP IN MIND more flour may be needed if the paste isn't binding properly.

Now I want you to try this magic patty on salad, with tahini, with hummus, on salad, in a pita with tomatos and lettuce and tahini or any which way you please!!!! Fo realz though its the shizzy.
Hope you thoroughly enjoy these balls of love and until I feel it necessary I bid you good eating!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Don't bother reading this

I've come to a wall in my life, for a while everything was going pretty well and I was a very happy person, but now I'm feeling like my old self again and this sucks. I took on a new opportunity that sounded promising at first but now I just feel like I may have wasted my time and some money in the process. It was supposed to work, I had people seriously interested but of course as soon as I needed them I got the "oh yea I wasn't serious bout that" line. I also receive no support from my mom or sister, they think it's a joke. SO here I thought I could earn some nice second income and in the long run I've lost some.
I hate lairs, obviously everyone does, but I feel as though I have a sign on my back that says "Need a good laugh? Tell this loser a fucking lie!" Seriously assholes just tell me the damn truth, I'm a big girl and can handle it. I bust my ass for people and get handed shit in return, yea I know what you're going to say so shut the eff up now, I shouldn't put myself out like that, but I feel like the ahole when I don't do something. I can't walk away from what I'm used to doing so easily. I feel a sense of pride from doing a favor, granted that pride gets shoved back in my face when I'm left hanging dry. I take time out of my life for you, is it so hard for you to do the same in return? Oh it is well then stick it where the sun don't shine.
I'm 22, that is young, very young by most peoples standard, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be refused a safer and cleaner home due to the fact you only see me as an immature, juvenile delinquent. I pay my bills, I have a full time career, a newer car, and I am effing married, and your going to look at me then look at the 30 somethings and say "Oh I'm sorry you're just a little to young"? Well here's some news for age is only a number asshole, I know more that I give away.
Thats another thing, my looks, eff my looks, they can shove it because I have never been happy with them. So I'm blonde, do you want to be the asshole that pulls a fucking blonde joke on me? Just because a couple dumb broads with a box hair color with big tits makes a funny doesn't mean all of us are bobble-headed, hair brained, floosie whores. Take you stereotype and shove it. Oh for all the men out there that stare me, and millions of other chicks down, and beep/holler at us. What are you trying to accomplish by doing that? Do you think you're being alluring? Are you trying to intimidate us? Oh wait I know, you seem to think that by doing so we will stop everything we are doing and jump on for a quick ride, then send us on our way? Well thats cool but news flash, you are fucking retarded....oops I used the R-word sorry people. I cannot tell you of one thing I hate more than when I'm at the gym and the same assholes come in and stare at the same chicks every time. Give it up!! I work out and lift as much as I do so that if one day you're feeling cocky I can knock you the fuck out.
Oh and one last thing...get the fuck over yourself...I don't think I'm the shit, actually a lot of people don't think highly of themselves so why should be an exception....You're annoying and so if you fanbase.
Oh I'm sorry were you expecting something more cheery and food related? Yea well I took the day off from being miss fucking sunshine.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Before I write another blog...

I need to know if anyone even reads this? If not I will not continue writing. Thank you

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Pizza is the Shizznit...first half up to sauce sorry

Pizza has so much potential. It has a mind of its own and always produces an amazing flavor adventure for your mouth! That is of course if you make your own or order it from a reputable pizza shoppe. Pizza Hut, Papa John and Gino, Domino's, suck it because your pizza is a shame. Oh and if you like any of those no disrespect intended, thats your choice. So anyways! This magical unicorn food of the flavor forest! It all begins with the perfect crust, and I am aware of the various types of crust and different preferences that people have but I'll just give you one and if you want a thin crust guess what...roll it thinner it's a miracle! If you roll something that was fat into a thinner version it's like a whole new experience! Wow. So yes the crust, I happen to prefer my crust to actually have a bit of flavor so here is a decent formula for such a creation:

Pizza D'OH haha thats funny because of the Simpsons....yea
1 Package of dry-active yeast
3/4 c 110 degree water not hotter no cooler in order for it not to kill the yeast
2 c all purpose flour
1t salt
1t sugar
-Sprinkle yeast into warm water to dissolve then add the salt or sugar(NOT BOTH) to feed the yeast, let rise for 5-8min
-Add the rest of the ingredients and mix with a hook attachment or your hands and knead for 2-3 minutes until dough is smooth and not sticky
-Spray a bowl with non stick spray and transfer dough, rise 15-20 minutes
-Roll out to desired thickness, add topping and sheet
-Bake at 425 degrees for 10-15 minutes.

And thats a pretty alright dough for a what do you want on your pizza?
I think many people get confused when it comes to dressing your pizza, it already has a sweet pair of linen trousers on what the heck kind of shirt should it wear? A Hawaiian one? A silk button up? A smoking jacket?!? Oh my heck i have no clue! Well lets think about cologne first, aka sauce. ......ok people i will continue this tomorrow.

Very brief but a sort of interlude into what I will blog about tomorrow

Pizza and all of its wonder. It has more potential than you ever will, not to be harsh but it is true. thats all folks! Just wait till tomorrow, it's going to be riveting! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll fall in love and then you will get off you tush and go make a mother effing pizza that would make an Italian cry.
I hope you have had an amazing day of eating deliciousness and I will see you bright and early. Au revior, ma chérie yes I am French.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

So my job rocks and the perfect "I don't know how to cook but want to impress you" meal

I had a revelation today! Alert the media! My job is better than 90% of you...assuming there are three of you, that would make me happy. ANYIMSOEFFINGHUNGRYANDRUNNINGONFUMESWAY, I was at the workski today having a chit chat with the Sous Chef about working and crap, talking about working rather than doing so! yay for productivity! I said that if I could stand the hours I'd be an all around chef rather than just a pastry biotch because I truly love cooking but also enjoy my afternoons. He mentioned his envy of my schedule, little does he know I make my own, because I get to be out of work by 1 or 2 having completed a nine of ten hour shift with an entire afternoon for enjoyment!
My schedule does have it's down side, like for instance when all my bitches and hoes are out on the prowl and I pull the, "Aw hey guys I know it's only nine but I have to go to bed, I've got work at four am". Yea wicked lame but hey I choose to do so! But! The reason my job is better is this, while some people are at work pounding their hands, fists, heads, whatever on their desks I am in the bakery creating mouth orgasms! Tell me what is better than working with your hands all day surrounded by the wonderful smells and tastes of a kitchen while getting instant gratification from making something with your hands that makes people smile?! Seriously it is an amazing feeling when you have the ambition to actually wake up at 3:30am and go to work and not be miserable about how tired you may be! Now if only there was a way to make this happen for everyone......bummer, unless everyone gets a job as a baker. Nah I'm not in a sharing mood sorry kids.
I struggled today with my rawtastic eating....I had a small crumb of chocolate cake! I know the end of the world right? I am so hard on myself it's sickening. I have been doing so well and last night was no exception. This is the perfect way to impress a hoe if you're stuck making them dinner. BARELY ANY COOKING!!! Also this can manipulated to include anything you want!
Start by getting any of these things:
Feta cheese
Marinated olives
english cucumber
yelllow, orange, or red pepper
naan bread or pita
sirlion, chicken, or any meat just make sure it's marinated or do so when you get home
And add anything else you want!
Grill then cut your meats, cut up your veggies, platter everything up with some wine and instantly you have a gourmet tapas platter that is healthy and delicious!
If I was going to some dudes house for the first time and thats what he had for dinner I would be sold! Seriously guys try it next time you have a lady friend coming over, and if she doesn't like it punch her in the mouth she's not good enough for you.
Well that'll be it for me for now, I've been busy sorry for the lame blogs! I love you all, be jealous of that amazing picture, eat something delicious and tell me about it!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


I finally tried Zumba! Yea it was a lot of fun fo sho. But I must say I had my doubts for a while and it was a pretty valid reason why. I saw a ton of women raving about this magically dance of the gods and how much of a great work out it was, but I never saw a change in their eating habit or clothing size so I only saw it as a lazy man's workout. Come to find out these women were only going once every other week, the eat habits thing was just annoying, if you don't eat better your work out is counterproductive. That was a while ago though and since then I hadn't heard anything else about zumba so I forgot about it.
Until two week ago when I was at an Athenas party and the goddess and one of the attendees was raving about it! So I tried it last night, and I gots to tell you it was so fun. Yes it was a workout and a damn good one too! I go to the gym every damn day and I love it but I think I have hit a plateau, I even managed to gain weight!? What the french? I started a new routine last week and have been seeing small results but now I think I have finally figured it out. If I can incorporate my raw diet, 5 miles of running 6 times a week, my new fitness routine and zumba three times a week I'll be golden!
I know that might sound like a lot to some people but I have been working my ass off for a year and a half to get to this level of fitness. If you've known me for a long time you'll know I was never one to work out, I couldn't run, I didn't strength train, all I did was hike a couple days a week. I am so friggen stoked that I am at this level now! I never saw it happening, not in a million years had I pictured myself being this active!
So yes, the class its self is like this...wait I should ask a few questions first, do you like dancing? do you like yelling and getting pumped? do you like swinging your hips and feeling sexy? ok if you answered yes I think you'll be into it. The warm up all on it's own was a phenomenal workout, a lot of twisting and shaking. You immediately begin to sweat, it's awesome. Each song has a workout to go with the rhythm and beat, it's aerobic and cardio and so fun! It's an hour long class but it goes so fast. You sweat like a machine but your entire body feels the workout and it's adrenaline, I wanted to keep shakin' my groove thang.
I highly suggest you try it if the gym is lame to you, if you need a quick hour of fun out of the house, and if you like to have fun:)
Don't worry bitches there'll be a foodie blog later in the day, I have only eaten a banana so you don't want a whole blog about that! Peace out girl scout

Sunday, April 18, 2010

I want to make some cookies

I think cookies are great, yup that is what I think. I seem to be in a baking mood isn't that weird? I know it never happens either totally bizarre. I really want to make some crazy ass cookies though with like a thousand random ass ingredients that wouldn't usually go together, but when in this jesus cookie(that's what I shall call it) the magic of baking will bring forth the ingredients to create a gift from the heavens that will cure.....hungeritis. What shall these cookies contain, don't say nuts or I'll stab you in the jaw, if you read these blogs you'll know how I feel about this. So we know that nuts are out of the question, how about this....dark chocolate chunks, roasted cocoa nibs, bits of sea salt caramel, and chunks of pretzels! They will need to be a chewier cookie because crunchy cookies suck, no that is a lie I actually love them but not for this idea. Hmmmm....what do you think? Is that to much for your taste buds? What about this, a shortbread made with all brown sugar no white sugar, this shortbread would be covered in chocolate chips when it comes out of the oven then when melty and sexual spread it around with an offset spatula and let cool and yum time....maybe that is to simple. How about something sans chocolate....What about dried fruit lovers? Start again with a chewier base and add chopped apricots, pineapple, mango, cherries, craisins, and apple. I didn't say raisins because I find them to be rather gross...sorry party people.
See I can't tell you what the absolutely best cookie ever is because there isn't a specific one. My favorite could be your taste bud nightmare! But for starters here's a base you can add just about anything to...
  • 2 cups plus 2 tablespoon all-purpose flour

  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda

  • 1/2 teaspoon salt

  • 12 tablespoon (11/2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled until warm

  • 1 cup light or dark brown sugar, packed

  • 1/2 cup granulated sugar

  • 1 large egg plus 1 egg yolk

  • 2 teaspoon vanilla extract

  • And you here can add 10-12 oz. of anything you want
  1. Adjust oven racks to upper- and lower-middle positions and heat oven to 325 degrees. Line two large cookie sheets with parchment paper.

  2. Whisk flour, baking soda, and salt together in medium bowl; set aside.

  3. Either by hand or with electric mixer, mix butter and sugars until thoroughly blended. Beat in egg, yolk, and vanilla until combined. Add dry ingredients and beat at low speed just until combined. Stir in stuff to taste.

  4. Roll scant 1/4 cup dough into ball. Holding dough ball in fingertips of both hands, pull into two equal halves. Rotate halves 90 degrees and, with jagged surfaces facing up, join halves together at their base, again forming a single ball, being careful not to smooth dough’s uneven surface. Place formed dough onto cookie sheet, leaving 2 1/2 inches between each ball.

  5. Bake, reversing position of cookie sheets halfway through baking (from top to bottom and front to back), until cookies are light golden brown and outer edges start to harden yet centres are still soft and puffy, 15 to 18 minutes. Cool cookies on sheets. When cooled, peel cookies from parchment. Makes about 18 large cookies

I apologize for how awesome you're cookies may be when you are done, I am by no means responsible for any addictions, weight gain or severed relationships due to the lack of sharing that takes place. I mean it people I'm not taking the blame.

Ok so cookies don't need to be all goopy and about rosemary, or lavender, or heck why not the whole garden?

Rosemary shortbread cookies
  • 1 1/2 cups unsalted butter
  • 2/3 cup white sugar
  • 2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary
  • 2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 2 teaspoons white sugar for decoration


  1. In a medium bowl, cream together the butter and 2/3 cup of sugar until light and fluffy. Stir in the flour salt and rosemary until well blended. The dough will be somewhat soft. Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour.
  2. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
  3. On a lightly floured surface, roll the dough out to 1/4 inch thickness. Cut into rectangles 1 1/2x2 inches in size. Place cookies 1 inch apart on the lined cookie sheets. Sprinkle the remaining sugar over the tops.
  4. Bake for 8 minutes in the preheated oven, or until golden at the edges. Cool on wire racks, and store in an airtight container at room temperature.
Yea son thats right! Spread a little orange marmalade on those puppies and SNAP DIGGITY! Now thats some good stuff.

Now this is my jam, Lemon Lavender Shortbread Cookies

  1. 1/3 cup sugar
  2. 1 teaspoon dried lavender blossoms, chopped
  3. 1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
  4. 1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter, softened
  5. 1 cup all-purpose flour
  6. 1/2 teaspoon salt

  1. In a medium bowl, mix the sugar with the chopped lavender and grated lemon zest. Using a handheld electric mixer, beat in the butter at moderate speed. At low speed, beat in the flour and salt until a soft dough forms. Transfer the dough to a sheet of wax paper and refrigerate for 20 minutes. Form the dough into a 4-inch log and chill for at least 45 minutes longer.
  2. Preheat the oven to 350°. Slice the shortbread dough into 1/4-inch-thick rounds and place the rounds on ungreased baking sheets. Freeze the rounds for 10 minutes.
  3. Bake the shortbread for 20 to 25 minutes, or until the edges are lightly browned. Transfer the baked shortbread to a wire rack to cool completely.
I am thinkin' that cookies need to be in my near future. So tell me, whats your favorite cookie? I wanna know! Well I hope you had massive amounts of enjoyment from reading this, until next blog eat something delicious!!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Finding Peace throught Music

I decided to take this time to talk about musics influence on my body and mind. I know many chefs/cooks/who cares that feel less stress if they are able to listen to their music at work. I know this one wicked pissah dudeguy that gets so engulfed in his music, it's like a trance and the music understands him and his problems. If you allow yourself to let go of all your inhibitions the music will take you on journey of enlightenment and self discovery.
I know to some people this all sounds nuts because music isn't essential to them and that makes me sad. I cannot picture my life without music, or sound altogether, it's a powerful stress reliever. Especially when I am at work, if the kitchen has only the sounds of ovens, hoods, dishwashers, slamming pots and pans, my god I would go insane! There are kitchen folk that believe music is distraction and there should be no noise but I say screw em'! My life in general needs that distraction(if thats what it's going to be referred as). For example: Three years and one month ago when my Grammy passed away the only album that I listened to was Continuum by John Mayer. His lyrics throughout the whole thing were soothing and a sort of healing for me. Especially in Gravity, actually most of the songs had lyrics that felt right for what I was going through. To this day if I feel very sad about her passing those songs helps, and I'll never get over her dying. And forever I won't be able to listen to George Winstons December without picturing her on Thanksgiving or Christmas bustling through the tight spaced house with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and our family gathering and just being together. It's not like that anymore.
And now I am crying, way to go Pam. Though I have found it to be true, some music just speaks to people during certain periods of their lives, a death, a birth, new love, old friends, memories, family traditions, any of those things have a soundtrack for me. If I hear for example, Riding in my Car by NRBQ I instantly think of my dad because he loves that song, played it a lot, and brought me to see NRBQ when I was twelve on the common in Downtown Springfield. If I hear and song by En Vogue or Salt N' Peppa I am instantly sent back to a memory of riding in my moms red Nissan using a flashlight from her glove box and belting out and of those songs with both my mom and sister as my band mates. I use music as a portal to a fonder memory or a dream of mine I hope to reach.
I thrive off of music, it is a beautiful gift from the many talented and wonderful people who create it and share it with us. Listen to your favorite song after reading this and just take a small moment for yourself to relax and let it all sink in.
"If music be the food of love, play on."

Friday, April 16, 2010

I hate cilantro

This blog will have nothing to do with cilantro I just had to tell you all my hatred of that foul and offensive herb. I find my body rejecting it when I put it in my mouth or if my nose smells it it quits on me, jumps off and runs away. Have you ever chopped a ton of it and then brought the cutting board to the sink and ran it under hot water? Well the vapor from that green death makes my skin end itself. I know it's odd and I am a rare cilantro hater but it is what it is.
I had Thai spring rolls and the menu failed to mention that they would be laced with it and I had to endure it because it was all I ordered...and they were raw. On the bright side, the sauce for dipping was yummy:)
Today I would like to talk about cake, both the band and the actual thing. Both are a many splendor thing and bring smiles and happiness to many. Haha I won't really talk about the band, but they will be at the Green River Music Festival and I really want to go! Old crow medicine show will be there as well, I wannnnnanananaa gooooooo! Oh well, so cake....
I won't go over all aspects of cake just a couple things that I want to talk about because this is MY blog NOT YOURS so shut up!! Thats right son. Cake is a pretty awesome thing, you can literally make any kind of cake with any flavor and spice and any thing ITS FREAKING AMAZING!!! You can have torte(short two layers only) you can have bombes, gateaus, they can be stacked high for weddings, you can make it in a mold and create a cake house and fill it with mousse people and the can live happy little mousse lives until the pam tornado whips through and destroys I am messed up. But yes cake is flipping awesome. I love it madly...haha get it I made a reference to a cake song...ha..ha...MOVING ON!
Whats you favorite type of cake? Now wait before you answer I just need to say ICE CREAM CAKE DOESN'T COUNT! It is not cake it is ice cream that has been shaped in to a cylindrical shape with layers of different ice cream with what ever the hell those chunks in the middle are, what are those? It must be MSG because I don't understand people when they go "Im not a huge cake fan but I LOVE ice cream cake" Screw you baskin robbins.
But really if you could have any cake, even if you've never had it and want to try it what is it? You whores can feel free to leave comments you know, feed back people its important! My favorite is....well I don't have one....I've made and had many really good cakes, and absolutely terrible cakes.... Sorry mom but I am telling this story. PICTURE IT! Your turning 20, you're i your externship for Culinary school for pastry and baking, your mom buys a cake from some random ass Polish bakery in Vernon CT and your pretty stoked you didnt have to make it. The families there your all having a great time, dinner was fabulous and everyones excited for dessert. Ma Dukes pulls out the ice cream and plates, you cut in, serve the slices, and then silence....everyones thinking is but no one wants to say it. Your mom just bought the worst cake in history. The "baker" of this monstrosity clearly forgot any and all sweeteners of this "cake". It was dry and flavorless, I assume it was supposed to be chocolate given its brownish color but I couldn't taste it. The "frosting" was just colored shortening. I mean at least if it was butter it would have tasted like something but god that texture was terrible! Yea thank god for ice cream because that was nasty!
SO back to cakes that don't make you want to commit a felony. I personally enjoy all cake, except one with whole nuts that you can see in them, I have this prejudice against the texture of nuts in baked good, its not good karma to put nuts baked goods. Ground up to barely noticeable but still contributes to the flavor of the cake its ok. I made a pretty awesome cake roll at workski today, I'll describe it but I dont have recipes right now, I'M SORRY STOP YELLING AT ME! I started with the sponge cake and I had never used this recipe before* and it was the lightest sponge I had ever made. For dessert special this week I made blueberry tiramisu so I had leftover mascarpone filling and turned it into a mascarpone grand marnier mousse. After the cake got all cooled down and happy I spread the mousse on and rolled it up! The great thing about rolls is it needs nothing else but a filling because it looks so nice with the rolled look. And viola! A stupid Sunday brunch dessert out of the way. I'll need to remember that because it's so easy and I hate making brunch crap.
In the future I'll be talking about cakes more so don't get your panties in a bunch, also if you have a question about cakes ask in the comments! Seriously people comment this craphole of a blog and make me feel special! So until next time eat something delicious!!

*I have this habit of googling recipes and loving them but then never remembering to write them down, yes I have cook books but for some strange reason use my google technique. Ready whenever you need any recipe use this format."The best____ever", it works for me almost everytime.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

A day in the life of my eating habits.

So my day begins at the ass crack of dawn(because dawn has one of those). I roll out of bed at 3:30am....seriously kids if you know someone that thinks being a baker is cake(no pun intended), it is not! early and long hours, but I will not complain about getting out between 1 and 2 pm because I get to see beautiful days and you don't :-P. Anyways when I stumble into work at 4am I start the fryolator and have myself some french fries, then I rummage around the walk-ins and usually find some pretty good stuff, prime rib, guiness stew, calamari. And thats just first breakfast! At about 6am I'm jonesin for something sweet so I go the pancake route and make a stack of about 6 and cover it in butter and maple syrup....a couple mini éclairs and I should be all set until about 10-11am. Mark (Mr. Boss Man) Is usually whipping up a pizza or some random goulash of deliciousness he finds in the walk-in, so I'll nosh on that for a while until I decided it's time for a BLT grinder and whatever the chef that day is preparing for the days events, beef, chicken, haddock, etc. Muffin tops are done by this point and I'll grab a chocolate chip and one of the specials. When I leave work I'll come home grab a couple beers plop down on the couch and munch on so doritos for a while until I crave the ben and jerrys dublin mudslide in the freezer, usually the whole pint. Something small and light for dinner, an eight mac and cheese casserole with side of rice pilaf, thats healthy right?
So that pretty much sums up my daily meal plan, see you tomorrow!

Oh my heck, my stomach just jumped out of my mouth slapped me upside the face and said,"I quit this bitch" at the very thought of a day of eating like that. I think the sadest part is that that isn't to far off from what a good chunk of people in America are eating on a daily basis. It hurts my brain. But fo realsies I'll tell you the truth and it is much less painful.
Because I am on a raw food diet and the sensitivity of my stomach lately I learned that I need to space my eating apart based on what I am eating. To sum it up, most foods do not sit well together in your stomach, ex. An orange with toast. The orange is very acidic and will ferment in your stomach if not allowed to digest properly on its own. When you add the bread, which has yeast already, that orange mixed with that bread will create the fermentation and in turn you feel bloated and unsatisfied. So when I eat I never eat fruits with anything, not even each other.
I'll start with a banana an hour for three hours just to keep me until seven when I will drink a Green Goodness Smoothie by Bolthouse Farms, it has every essential you need to stay healthy! After allowing that to digest for about and hour I will have a pint of blackberries. At about 11:30 I will start to get really hungry and I will make a big salad, spring mix with spinach, no iceberg. The starring roles in most of my salads are half an avocado, half an english cucumber, two tomatoes(which technically are fruit but shut it), and goat cheese. A splash of rosemary garlic dressing and I am all set! The avocado adds and extra creaminess along side the goat cheese and it is very satisfying and filling.
I do get a little snack hungry when I come home from the gym at 3 so I'll nibble on some baby carrots or a little 85% dark chocolate and sunflower butter. Dinner time is a little more flexible because you can eat heavier and be ok, between dinner and breakfast is the longest down time you stomach gets to digest so if you have a craving for steak have it just try ot eat grass fed locally raised meats and what not. Tonight I'm thinking of some balsamic roasted veg paninis with goat cheese and whole wheat ciabatta! Yummmmmmmolicious bobs.
So obviously I change things up from day to day in order not to get bored or bad cravings like pancakes haha! I really enjoy this way of eating and living it's much for fulfilling to me to know what I am putting into my body is all natural unscathed by human hands. From local farmers to my stomach. Its very delicious when you start playing around with the raw food recipes, they can be difficult but so good.
I hope this was informative! Until next blog eat something delicious!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?!

Mhm, thats right kids, it is Mexican Tuesday! Grab your sombreros and salsa all the way to the main course.
Oops was that stereotypical? My bad. I am just craving the zesty and fresh flavors of any Spanish cuisine. I cannot help but notice how that urge has become more frequent...could it be due to the fact that I literally live in Puerto Rico?............What? whoa, whoa, so you're telling me that I DON'T live there...I am so confused, I just looked out my window and I swear to the trees I am there. Huh...I live in Holyoke? MASSACHUSETTS?!?! What the French Toast? Wow ok well I guess I am just weird and get urges for south of the boarder/island food for no reason....moving on!
Beans, oh you sweet little beans...Black, garbanzo, kidney, all of you are my life and blood. No for real though for a person on a raw food diet beans are an essential ingredient! I have contemplated eating only beans before, crazy? No way man I love em. Not as much as bread but I could make the sacrifice for a while. Beans are so versatile, they contribute so much depth to food, more so when its a raw diet. And I mean come on! Grabanzo's make hummus! Whats not to love about that?! Also you know the old saying, beans beans the magical fruit the more you eat the more the flute? no that can't be right.
SO! Are ya wonderin' what I'm makin'? Huh are ya? Oh your not...fine then have a good night!

Nah I kid of course you want to know because you love me! Just nod make me happy.
So tonight on the menu we have(what I am calling) Chili-Lime Chicken Breast with Fiesta Rice! I know it is an amazing name, I am so imaginative. hahaha I kid. SO yup I made a nice little marinade of chili powder, cumin, paprika, and cayenne, fresh squeezed lime juice and two seeded and pureed jalapeños. Threw the kids in the pool(The chicken is the kid), and right now they are getting happy swimming around in there absorbing all the love. For the rice I'm going to roasted some corn, a red pepper and jalapeño then chop it all down to corn size and cook it with the brown rice, saffron, and other random loveys I add when I get to that point. Grill the chicken, slice it then pile it high atop a bed of rice topped with some tomato and sliced quacamole. mMmmmmmmmm! Cannot wait until Tim get home it's going to be gooooood!
Maybe for dessert I'll munch on some of my super dark Green&Blacks 85% chocolate, it'll blend well with the spice and zest of dinner.
Now if only I had a margarita.....Oh sigh...Well bitches and hoes until next time eat something delicious!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

A Weekend for Eating, and Car Hiking!

So right now I am having a rare moment, it's Sunday morning, Tim is not home before he would usually be awake, and I am not at the gym or doing something of moderate productivity. It is making me nervous...but I am watching Beauty and the Beast! Don't judge me, I cannot help something that has such a warm place in my heart:)
The weekend hasn't been completely useless though! Tim and I invented this nifty little activity a few years ago when we wanted to get out of the house and see new things, CAR HIKING! It's fun, not as fun as real hiking which we do a ton of, but it allows us to "get lost" in the northern part of the pioneer valley, see the amazing scenery and fall into fun shops and delicious food. Yesterday we traveled up Rt. 116 all the way up to Conway which a beautiful drive and stumbled our way to Shelburne Falls. We go there very often it just happens to be one of our favorite places:) We poked around Lamson Sharpe and the town a little bit with out eating a thing! Which is odd because the falls have great eateries.
I figured we had a ton of food at home why buy anything? I had this crazy "salad" Oh snap it was so good! Avocado, cucumber, tomato, tuna, hummus, my last little bit of goat cheese, and I ate it on alfalfa sprout bread. It may sound odd but man oh man it was so good! Makes up for the fact that I had a hot dog for dinner....don't judge me! haha!
Tim is on his way to a swap meet, which to me spells out terrible beer and solidified grease that has been shaped and colored to look like food....eff that. He always get mad sick when he comes home from those things. I am proud of him though, he is starting to realize eating better makes you feel better..WHOA! NO WAY! Yoou mean to tell me that if I stop eating pure grease I'll feel better? Weird! Haha he's cute. So anywho, I woke up at the crack of dawn to make him some of my awesome egg salad on rosemary olive oil bread.
Its quite simple, hard boil your eggs...I did six, 7 minutes boil 5 minutes off the heat, covered. When the eggs at peeled cut them in half and put all the yolks in a bowl with enough mayo, GOOD honey mustard, jack daniels makes good stuff, dill, paprika, and pepper. Mix all of that into a love dressing that would be so good on its own but an artery clogger fo sho. Cut up the whites and mix all of that up to get happy. Put on bread and there you have something that would kick soggy french fires ass anyday!
He turns into a small child when he taste something he really likes, giggles and kind of dances haha! But alas until this evening I will be secluded to eating my fruits and veggies, I dont mind but I am in the mood to cook. I am sure I will manage to get back into the kitchen today, that egg salad was just the beginning to a day of delicious discoveries. Now if you don't mind I will be getting back to my movie. Until the next blog kids!

Friday, April 9, 2010

What up Friday!

So about how the breads I made yesterday were friggen awwweeesommmeee! Yea thats right. I know I know, "But Pam, bread isn't apart of a raw diet!" Well I ate it at night which is the best time to eat that kind of food because it is the longer period of time between meals for digestion, take that sucka. No but for real I am pretty impressed at how well I have become at bread baking. I am going to be starting some sours this weekend in hopes of concurring them again, tried it in school and loved it, but that was three years ago.
Whats for dinner? I have a ton of various foods in my repertoire, but none of them seem to go very well together...I do have jalapenos which are pretty open ended. hmmm. I am in the mood for a light pasta dish, GAH! I have reached the point of hunger when you get to indecisive for your own good! Damn, damn it all to hell! I will just eat my sprouted grain bread and goat cheese and sulk in my own pit of wallowing despair. whoa...that got out of control real fast.
On the topic of goat cheese(hey whats up awesome transition), I went of a frenzy around wholefoods on Tuesday and (not so mistakingly) headed straight for the cheeses. On top on being a bread fiend I love cheese, it sucks having irritable bowels. The cheese lady(real name unknown) began asking me what I was in the market for and typical me babbled idiotically. I have this terrible habit of getting all jazz1ed up with tons of really smart, knowledgeable questions, like thought way to long on the walk from the car about these questions, but when I get to where I plan on whipping out my Ann Curry double personality I clam up and act like I am twelve and just saw Justin Boober(what ever the french toast his name is). I also have a bad habit of digressing....and run on sentences.
Where was I? OH goat cheese! So TCL (The cheese lady) told me to buy this really amazing cheese called Humbort Fog with vegetable ash, and she wants me to go back in and tell her how I liked it even though she knew I was going to love it. Hot Damn! I want to go in there and bow down to her! I saw god with this cheese! OK I'm kidding I visit god on Tuesdays hahaha! Those that know me will laugh at that. But it really is a spectacular cheese, if you enjoy the gameiness of goats cheese I highly suggest you try this, it is to die for....So before falling in love with TCL I putted around a bit more and bought some for deliciousness, like a pork bootay which became and was quickly concurred pulled pork...mmmmmm. Seriously I cannot wait until I get my paycheck tomorrow because I am going back to the WF for some more food enlightenment haha!
But alas I still do not know what is for dinner, at least I know there will be wine! There should always be wine:) Hope you enjoyed this, after a while you will get usd to my random blabbles and strange lingo, and learn to love me, some one has to! Out like a trout in a drought eatin saur kraut no doubt!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

And so it begins...

I'll fill you in with a little back round knowledge....
My name is Pam and I am a young chef in training, my main focus is on Pastry and Baking but my heart is in the entire kitchen. About 5 months ago, from beginning this blog, I began a raw food diet, I have had a hard time with it but have recently started back 100% and I am committed to it...but I still love cooking and baking!
I work full time as an assistant pastry chef, (damn I wish I was the head), and it is a fantastic place to work. I can experiment with new formulas that I find or fudge around with ingredients to see what becomes of it, so fun! I love the science behind baking and the flavor structure and textures of both aspects. I was trained at the former Connecticut Culinary Institute (now Lincoln), buy the amazing Chef Lynn Johnson. I wish I knew her information nowadays because she moved to Florida and I don't get a chance to stay in contact.
When it comes to raw eating I pretty much stick to the bare minimum...meaning I only eat fruits and veggies, salad, goat cheese!(love it!) and other random raw surprises I find along the way. If I had a few extra bucks I'd be trying the recipes I have in this friggen sweet book I have, The Raw Food Detox Diet by Natalie Rose. Wicked awesome book! For the month and a half I was really hardcore I lost a good amount of weight* and felt flipping amazing! I had had bowel issues(I know TMI) and after that, none! In no way shape or form am I, or could ever be, a vegetarian! Its not for me, I'm not into it. (Sushis raw, does that count:) Though I will say this, I have a problem, an addiction if you will, no it's no chocolate(eff chocolate), or crack(sorry dad), it is bread.
The smell of yeast rising! The cell structure! The way it needs to live before becoming what it is! The tons of varieties and all the flavors! I am a sick sick woman because I ain't kidding you when I say I have two different kinds rising, getting all sorts of happy and sexy in the kitchen right now! I am a fiend. My love of bread began when as a child, I was more content then a cucumber to eat bread out at dinner than that incredible Veal Parmesan! At Thanksgiving forget that damn turkey, hand me a roll and the stuffing and I am all good. Bread is my drug, it soothes my stresses and slaps a silly little smile on my big face.
Oh snap, I can't wait til its done! SO, anywho my main purpose for this blog is a number of reasons but all in all I am trying to spread the good word about not just food but stuff in general! Since the stroke of midnight of 2010 it has been my goal to begin a new, more exciting, no holding back, life for myself and dagnabit if I haven't been kicking ass at that already! I will shortly be beginning a weekly food vlog on my youtube channel, in the vlog I will be going to and critiquing local restaurants and other random eateries, as well keeping with my regular vlogs about my silly little life. If you happen to have a soul or heart please go subscribe! SO along with my channel I will leave you with the links for the breads I am making right now. Peace out boy scouts!